A hilarious salute to weddings from Alex and Tom....

"consider this a contribution to your blog:

http://tackyweddings.com/

alex and I particularly liked the couple who dressed as shrek and princess fiona, the "save the date" video, and the video of the groom getting arrested at his own wedding."

And as an added note, Tom and Alex are right on. Those couples were fabulous.

Some thoughts from hawaii....

1. Kids are hilarious. Yes, we already all know this. But, within a span of 30 minutes yesterday I saw 3 hilarious kid feats that just have to be documented.

• Kid 1 tried 7 successive times to throw up a ball and kick it. Every single time he ran over the ball and into a dinner table where a couple was dining.
• Kid 2 was holding his dad's hand and trying to be a dead weight on the beach path. Why was he trying to hold his dad back. Well, his chorus was, "We're lost. We're lost. We're lost."
• Kid 3 turned a store front into her ocean. She hopped onto a rectangular piece of cardboard and began to surf. Oh yes, and waves were included. Up and down, jumping and ducking, falling of the board, no activity was ignored on this cardboard surfboard.

2. I am freaking clumsy. No this is not a surprise to most of you (or all of you). I have made 3 body parts swell and developed one welt while in hawaii...

• Tripped over a ledge on Mt. Haleakala swelling the ankle
• Popped out my knee bending over for a bottle of wine
• Smashed my tow walking in the apt
• Developed a welt on my back from god knows what that made my steady mom squeal "Oh my god maile what happened to you."
  

Like that was enough for my clumsiness quotient, I also broke my hat by ripping off the brim (photos to follow). Niiiiiice.

3. I just love this photo....



And yes my brother is wearing a muscle t-shirt in case you are wondering. He thinks its hilarious. He has actually bought two.....

More Hawaii updates to come. Stay tuned for "David and Goliath" and some awesome websites suggestions from Mark that I have taken way too long to post. (That is called a teaser ;) I'll keep you coming back. Muha.

Who needs a sommelier when you can have a smellier?

So I took my brother and parents to a wine tasting in Atlanta. Good night! Discovered my parents both have tolerances of inexperienced teenagers. Anyways, the next day my brother is trying to talk about the experience....

"You know I really didn't like that smellier."

"What Jonathan?"

"You know that guy who ran the wine tasting."

Good stuff.

ahoy matees!

With all the social networking (facebook, twitter, gchat, email, blah blah blah) things may start getting a bit boring. This is where Post Like a Pirate fills the void! All you do is type your message as you would normally, and voila! it is translated into pirate speak as you type!

Real Life Twitter

Mark is a gorilla!

TGIF - Thanks B! (yes I know it is Tuesday thus I am 3 days late or 2 days early)

Another gem from Tom.... everyone, get ready to submit your awkward family photos...

I especially like some of the entries on page 3....

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/page/3/

Leslie's thoughts on travel to see friends....

Last night around a pitcher of margaritas I asked Leslie, would you visit me in Minneapolis if I move there. And Leslie, ever honest said:

"It depends. Is there a direct flight?"

We all looked at her in confusion (Most of us thinking DUH, Atlanta is Delta's HQ and Minneapolis was Northwest's HQ before they merged). Leslie quickly cleared up her intended meaning...

"I don't connect to see friends."

Muhahaha.

Thoughts on Korean pop culture - from Elena

"This past weekend I learned about Koren pop culture, first from my boyfriend and subsequently from my Korean friend... I would like to dedicate the following song to crackaritas (as it suddenly started playing in my head as I read the word "crackaritas" in Leslie's email)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvBb7m73TOQ
I also learned that it is now a popular trend to repeat lines/words/lyrics many times in Korean pop songs to make them easier to memorize. Interesting, eh? "

Does Elena have more free time than usual at work?

Girl with barbie ice cream cone

Gaya found the world's smallest ice cream cone! Plus, look at that
face....

Kaitlin's mad look

How to get someone to not take a shot...

I was in Chapel Thrill for my brother's graduation! (Congrats JonJon) On Friday night Ashley and I hit Franklin St. and end up at Topo (only the best bar in Chapel Hill)....

Picture this. Ashley and I sitting at a high top table...with 2 empty seats. Talking, giggling, etc. etc. etc. when a guy suddenly plops himself down. Let's call him guy 1. Two seconds later his friend follows him to the table with two shots (this friend is guy 2). Apparently, guy 2 was trying to force guy 1 to take the shots. Guy 1 offers us his shot. When we both decline, he continues to ask every girl that passes by to take his shot.... Guy 2 is not happy. Here is a little glimpse of what ensues...

Girl in zebra dress walks up...
Guy 1: "You look lovely tonight, do you want this shot?"
Zebra girl: (Looking doubtful )"Ummmm"
Guy 2: "Can't you tell he roofied it. It would be beyond stupid to take this shot."
Zebra girl: (awkward giggle) "Right"
Guy 1: "He is lying"
Guy 2: "He is just going to take advantage of you."
Exit zebra girl

Girl in twinset with bow in hair...and as the author of this blog, I have to comment, why in the world would guy 1 think that a girl who looked that proper (cardigan + bow) would be likely to comply....
Guy 1: "Hi, do you want this shot. I swear I havent done anything to it."
Proper girl: "No thank you. I make it a policy never to take drinks from strangers."
Guy 1: "You can even take my friend's. He has already had a sip. See, clearly nothing is in it."
Proper girl: "Sorry but no."
Guy 1: "Come on. You and him can take it together."
Proper girl: "You're creepy. Bye."
Guy 2: (drunken laugh) "I didn't even have to say anything that time."

Girl with attitude...
Guy 1: "Want this shot?"
Guy 2: "He is being lame and won't take it with me. Do I have to tell you he roofied it?"
Attitude girl: "Grow some testicles."

That's all she wrote....

How not to be creepy.

This e-mail came from Elena. Is she trying to send me a message?

"How to meet new people aka how not to be a creep

http://www.wikihow.com/Meet-New-People-Without-Being-Creepy

We all need some advice at times

"There's an image presented in a lot of media, especially anime and video games, that being standoffish, mysterious, and quiet is "cool". In real life, however, it's more likely to come off as creepy.[1]"

Thanks Elena.

New terminology...

The other day a recruiter wrote to me in an e-mail...

"It sounds like your skillet is best suited to an operations focused role..."

Skillet instead of skill set. A trend in the making? Imagine a job interview... "Tell me about your skillet?"

Oh the confusion that could ensue!

Potential answer #1) "Well I use a cheap Wal-mart pan, but I've heard Caphalon is top notch...."

Potential answer #2) "I catch things on fire when I try to cook, therefore I own no skillets."

Or what about "I have no skillet"

Man tries to pay bill with a spider drawing...

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

You should read this if you need a pick me up. My brother sent it to me a few weeks ago in lieu of a phone call. Tom reminded me by sending it again... What will you send in leiu of something real ? This almost suffices ;). Brothers.

This will make much more sense once you read the article....

Kaluha +a baby's bottle

A David LaChapelle photo...

Now that's a pick up line...

So Bethany, Kaitlin and I are adding a new type of post to this blog. We will post the best pick-up lines we hear when we go out (they have this blog's log in info, be envious ;).

So... the winner from last night in DC was.....

"You three are pretty cute for tall girls..."

and after an incredibly long and awkward conversation with him, finally gave me a dollar, and left.....

At which time guy # 2 thinks it would be brillant to step in with....

"I heard what that douche bag said to you."

Que awkward, humorous conversation two.

And one more take on the swine flu a la Bethany...

Just visit this link...

http://doihavepigflu.com/

Also, my Dad has informed me that should anyone in our family fall ill he has tamiflu which he will express mail to me. Have no fear. Swine flu ain't got nothing on John.

Pooh is not digging the swine flu....

a la Tom